Christians are straight up FREAKS
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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