I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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