I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
