Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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