So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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