ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
