I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
