I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Randomize
