let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
