My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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