i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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