In America we eat man semen.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
