take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
