Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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