Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
