Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
3 2 1 whiskey
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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