How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
