Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
