Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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