I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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