her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
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It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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