Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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