That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
