census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
