My first STD was from a foam party
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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