they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
