My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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