I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
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People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
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Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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