my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling