i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can