whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
God has nothing to do with this.