I puked a lego.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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