dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila