hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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