you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
