Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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