Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
