glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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