I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
