We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
