I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
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Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
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When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice