Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
