i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
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Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
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That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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