Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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