I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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