i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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