I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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