I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
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So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
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Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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