we have officially lost it.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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