Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Found your dick twin last night
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️