On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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