so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
