I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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