you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
