i just google imaged poop.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
