I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
