its not stalking. its research.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
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You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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